先让我们来脑补一下部分人眼中强暴的犯罪现场。

午夜，孤身的女子，从后尾随的黑影，强捂嘴巴的黑手，一把凶器，以及一句冷冰冰的话“再动就杀了你”。

在这样的场景中，犯罪者可能会有以下特征：长相凶恶，文化程度不高，无业并有案底，无稳定居所，生活在社会底层等等……

Let’s visualize the picture of a rape criminal scene.

Midnight, a woman walking alone, she felt someone was following her. Suddenly, she was seized by fierce force, and her mouth was covered. She saw he had a knife and heard ‘Don’t move, or ill hurt you’.

In such scene, we would often imagine the rapist to have following characteristics:

Vicious and evil looking, uneducated, unemployed and had criminal history, homeless, a depraved lower-class man.

性侵（sexual assault）

又是什么呢？

一个寻常周五，A女生去KTV帮朋友庆生，席间有一个帅气B男子一直对她示好。一行人玩到凌晨1点的时候，A女生表示她想先回家，但是她的朋友想再待久一点。B男子表示他有车可以载A女生回家，她同意了。在车上，B男子摸了她的腿，向她表白，A女生表示拒绝并且开始担心。车开入了一个偏僻的荒地，男子跳到女生身上，她哀求着不要伤害她，但是他并没有停下。她怕的要死，那是她这一辈子最无助的时刻。她放弃了抵抗，只希望这一切快点结束让她回家。

A usual Friday, a girl went to KTV with her friends, a cool guy was hitting on her all night. When it was passing 1am, the girl wanted to go home, so the guy said I will drive you home and she agreed. In the car, the guy touched her leg and said he likes her. The girl refused and started worrying. Next moment, the car went to the dark side of the road. The man jumped on her, she was very scared, and she begged him not to hurt her. This was the darkest night she has ever had in her life. She stopped fighting and wish he finish it faster, so she could go home.

我们很少会把以下职业和强暴犯联系在一起：结婚了的上司，公司老总，成功的生意人，甚至大学生。

We rarely link the following men with a rapist: your manager who wears his wedding ring every day, head of company, successful businessman, a university student.

最让人震惊的是，直到今天这个女孩也没有把那晚发生的事告诉任何人因为连她自己都不知道这到底算不算强暴。‘我没有抵抗，也没有证据’她说，她无法证明那些曾经发生在她身上的兽行因为她没有抵抗。因为在法律的眼里，受害者需要通过展示自己的伤痕来证明她曾与施暴者展开激烈而持久的搏斗，需要通过这些伤痕来证明自己的清白，来证明这些兽行是违背她本人意愿的。但是在大部分的法庭强暴案件审理中，再多伤痕都还远远不够。

The most shocking thing is, this girl never told anyone about what happened to her that night because she was not sure if what happened to her qualified as rape. ‘there is no fight. I have no proof’ she said, she cannot prove the beast act was against her will simply because there was no resisting. Because in the eyes of the law, the victim needs to prove her innocence -- by showing marks on her body as evidence that she engaged in a vigorous and continuous fight with her aggressor, but in most court cases, no amount of marks is ever enough.

这时候，会有质疑的声音响起。谁让这些女孩晚上去泡吧的？你看看她们都穿成啥样了，那些迷你裙，那些开叉衫，他们应该多少预料到后果。这些甚至都不算问题，更像是一种谴责和质问。这些质问汇总成一句话就是“她们是自找的”。这些谴责还有名正言顺的证据比如这些女孩都没有反抗或者挣扎过，那难道不是默许了之后的性行为？如果他们一开始是自找的，之后又默许了，那为何还能称之为强暴呢？

Who told her go to those clubs? You saw how she and her friends were dressed, right? Those miniskirts, those necklines? What do you expect? Questions that aren't really questions, but rather, judgments -- judgments that end in a  verdict: she asked for it. That finding would be verified by the fact that she didn't mention having struggled to avoid being raped. So that means she didn't resist. It means she consented. If she asked for it and allowed it, how are we calling it rape?

这就是为什么绝大部分被性侵的女孩都选择了保持沉默。她害怕听到她故事的人会怀她她，这种怀疑甚至比强暴本身更让她绝望。更别提她的男朋友，如果他在听到她故事之后哪怕脸上闪过一丝迟疑与疑问都会让她心如刀割，他们之间的关系也就会就此走到尽头。女孩保持沉默的真正原因是其实她内心深处知道，没有人，包括她的家人，医生，警察，法官会真正聆听和关心女孩在最无助的时刻到底发生了什么。

This is why most women stay silent after sexual assault. She was afraid the person she'd choose to tell her story to would have the same reaction as the rest of us: they'd have doubts, suspicions. And if that had happened, it would have been worse, perhaps, than the rape itself. And with her partner, it would have been extremely difficult: the slightest hint of doubt on his face or in his voice would have been devastating for her and would have probably meant the end of their relationship. The girl keeps silent because deep down she knows that nobody -- none of us, not her family or therapists, let alone the police or judges -- are willing to hear what happened in that moment.

如果我們还是继续按照固定思维去想象强暴犯是一个颓废的社会底层男子， 而不是在周末外出追求女孩的 大学生或是生意人； 如果我們继续按照固定思维去固化受害者女性的衣着容貌和社会地位── 那么我们还是无法倾听她们的声音。 女性无法說出來的情況將會持续。而我們也將继续要為她們的沉默、 以及孤獨， 承担責任。

Now, if we continue to expect rape to be what it very rarely is -- with the rapist as a depraved lower-class man and not a university student or a businessman who goes out chasing after girls on a Friday or Saturday; if we keep judging the victims based on their appearance -- we will continue to be unable to listen. Women will continue to be unable to speak. And we will all continue to be responsible for that silence and their solitude.